So I went to the bank yesterday to make some lodgements (yes, maga don pay! Sorry, I meant ‘God has done it’ LOL) and while I was waiting to be attended to, I decided to start looking around the bank and just start making some observations like I usually do.

As my eyes went to and fro, the attention of ears was alerted, passing a signal to my brain to tell my eyes to look towards the direction of the sound alerting my ears. Lo and behold, it was a loud woman in a ‘hijab’ the likes of which we usually call ‘Alhaja’ making a phone call. It later turned out that she was receiving the call not making it. Let us therefore assume the name of the caller to be ‘Alhaji’ so the story is sweeter.

Now, nobody could hear Alhaji but we sure could hear Alhaja’s responses, but based on her responses, we can deduce what Alhaji was saying. We can also assume that Alhaji was speaking to her in Yoruba language because she replied via the same. The following conversation in Yoruba therefore ensued:

Alhaji:    Alhaja ni bo le wa? (Alhaja, where are you?)
Alhaja:    Mo lo tan. (I went to ease myself)
Alhaji:    Ok, ni bo le wa ni si nsi Alhaja? (Ok, where are you right now Alhaja?)
Alhaja:    Ninu toilet, mo wa ninu toilet! (Inside the toilet, I am inside the toilet!)

Can you imagine? You’re an Alhaja, you’re even wearing a hijab for that matter; and you are lying on a corporate level? God is watching you o! How can you be inside the bank and telling somebody you went to the toilet? And then the person ate the lie and still asked you where exactly you were; and you shouted, “Inside the Toilet!” Even the whole bank was in awe of your “Liemanship” (yes, I invented it and it is backed by copyright, see end for meaning).


Lessons Learnt

First of all, I really want to appreciate Alhaja’s faithfulness and boldness in telling those lies, that was a real source of encouragement to me; at least I have learnt two things: how not to look like a fool inside a bank and how to make my listener feel like a fool for even listening with my stupid lies.

I think the lesson is very clear, don’t ever trust anybody because she is in a hijab or she looks like Mary; or because he has long beards and is wearing jumper trousers, or he is wearing a White Collar and he always carries a Bible in his hands; actions speak louder than looks.

If anybody claims to be a ‘Faithful’ whether Christian or Muslim, it must be proven by your attitude and actions not just your appearance. Appearance does go a long way though, but isn’t that what makes it much easier for others to be deceived in the first place? That is why God judges the heart and not necessarily the appearance (1 Samuel 16:7). Matthew 5:16 says:

“Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.”

Luke 20:46 then says:

“Beware of the scribes, which desire to walk in long robes, and love greetings in the markets, and the highest seats in the synagogues, and the chief rooms at feasts”

This applies to everybody. I have many Muslim friends including the Alhajis and Alhajas and I know those of impeccable integrity, they don’t carry religion on their heads, but simply love their God and their actions prove so.


Nobody is perfect, I am not perfect, neither am I holy. Everyone is free to practise his/her religion but if you’re going dress up to prove to us that you are faithful and holy, you had better also dressed up your inside, if not, you’re no better than the devil himself.

Cheers and God bless you infinitely!!!

© 2013 Godsplan Uzoaga.

Image Credit

Liemanship – The art and process of learning and practising to be a better liar in life.