It is an already established fact that most of what we call ‘giving’ is just waste of precious money that I (for instance) could have used in saving for my future wife’s bride price (hoping she won’t be from Onitsha). It is very painful when someone (a bloody ingrate) hurts you, but do you know what is even worse? When you saw it coming! The pain then becomes worst when you saw it coming but didn’t believe that person was capable of doing such to you. If you then happen to be like me, who will rather dine with the devil than a Church hypocrite, and you were hurt by a Church hypocrite after you saw it coming but didn’t believe it; you would want to rent your own clothes and blow your own brains out. Well, I just had a date with the chief of all ingrates and it wasn’t fun at all.
The Chief of All Ingrates
One funny thing is that I had gotten the signs from the very first encounter I had with him, but I guess I lost my guard. My first encounter with him was back in school. I was in year 3, active in one of the campus fellowships and I had just moved into the hostel (the best) for the new session. This guy, who was also a member of the fellowship, walked up to me telling me about how he just needed a place to stay while he processes his own hostel accommodation. In the name of fellowship, and seeing the session had just started, thereby leading to little or no scrutiny by the hostel potters, I agreed to squat him for two weeks as he requested. I was on the lower bunk and the mattress was slim and not friendly at all, but I inconvenienced myself and shared that same mattress with him. It was like sleeping with half of your body floating outside on a mattress that was just like sleeping on bare metal. What made matters even worse was that this guy was tall, so I was practically suffering. After the two weeks, I was still ready to help, but the problem was my room was the very first room when you climb the staircase, as a result; it was a no-go area for squatting, except you were planning on being caught and expelled from the hostel. With all his cock-and-bull stories, I still tried till the fourth week until I had a dream that I was caught. After pleading with him, he finally moved out. His brother was still asking me why I couldn’t continue squatting him even after the risk I had already taken. Within that same month, the kind of disrespect I received from him (even as his leader in the fellowship) was just unbelievable. As a child of God, I forgave and acted like nothing happened.
Years later, I’ve graduated but I’m staying around the campus. I’m coming back from a Wednesday church service and I see a guy walking hopelessly, I’m move close to the person to discover he’s the one. I’m moved with compassion and I just want to help. He says he’s hungry, I take him to a cafeteria and tell him to order whatever he wants. I offer him my love and support at any time. The next month, he shows up in front of my doorstep, I welcome him in, he gives me a cock-and-bull story trying to dupe me, but I’m not stupid. I see him to the door and say goodbye. The next week his at my doorstep again, he says he’s broke and has no one to run to. Things are really difficult for me, I don’t yet have a job, I explain all this to him, but I take from my little money and give him. The next week, he’s back again, this time he welcomes himself in, I rub it off. He says he’s hungry and broke again. I take him to a cafeteria nearby, he orders food I can’t even afford without even considering me. I don’t have a job and I also haven’t eaten. His food is worth double the price of mine. I still give him money again. The next week, he’s back again, he welcomes himself yet again. This time my siblings are asking for my permission to lie that I’m not around, I refuse them to lie, I come out and receive him. The same old story, I have N1,000 so I give him N500, he goes. The next week, he’s back again, this time he doesn’t only welcome himself in, but he’s gone straight up to my room, this time I rebuke him and ask him to respect my privacy. This time he gives me another cock-and-bull story, I’m still not stupid, I’m never stupid, his plan fails. He then goes back to the same old same old, I have so much love in me, I never want him to go empty handed, I give him what I have. This process continues for weeks till I give him some advice and a link to a job. It doesn’t work out. I give him another link, he tries, he gets the gig. Weeks later, he’s back again, they haven’t paid him, he’s broke. “Dude, nobody pays me, I haven’t gotten a job, I’m just managing”. Yet, I give him what I have. All through the time I was jobless, I never pushed him away, never!
I get a job, he still finds his way to my office, and this time he has more cock-and-bull stories. I don’t care about his stories, I just give. He comes to my office again, I’ve exhausted the cash on me, I go and borrow from my colleague just to give to him, he goes away. As at October, 2013, I have now officially been giving to this guy for about three years straight, and I have given about 99% out of 100%. I can only remember one possible occasion I didn’t give in which I was totally broke. In November 2013, this guy comes to my office as usual and starts giving another cock-and-bull story to deceive me and collect money from me. This time, I judge him based on his story. He says he has just rented an apartment for N150,000 and so he’s broke. Mind you, over the years, he has supposedly rented more than three different apartments in different locations, all in his different cock-and-bull stories which he cooks up to deceive different people. I don’t spook him, but I simply tell him that it wasn’t a wise decision. “Someone is currently giving you a place to sleep conveniently, yet you still have your family and nobody chased you away from your house, why then spend that kind of money on a place you wouldn’t even stay in? Why not keep the money and take care of yourself rather than asking people for money? You can’t continue like this, you have to start making wise decision”. Those are my words and I don’t give him anything. He starts painting his family and everybody black and blue, then he walks out of my office.
To my surprise, a guy who would greet me from the other side of the road was now pretending he didn’t see me. It couldn’t be, it just wasn’t possible, he couldn’t just throw away all I’ve done for him. Well, the next day was a day of confirmation. This time, he walked right by me, only two of us on that area of the road, right in my front and he just walked on by. I fixed my eyes on him, but he just had that look like the person passing wasn’t worth looking at.
I Saw It Coming
While he was still coming to me, he would always paint anybody who stopped helping him black and blue. He played my pals into staying with them for a week and gave them the whole apartment crap. He never left there until they had to pack out. After the sacrifice, he would see these guys and just walk on by. He will pass right in front of them and he would just act like there’s nobody there. He played another person, whom I also knew. After leaving, he started saying all sorts of rubbish about the person who had just sacrificed his sleeping convenience for him. He poured it all to me. Even the church that has helped him, funded him and given to him time without number; he left and started saying all sorts against them, all in my ears. As many as even said no to him, they automatically became his enemies and he would say all sorts of rubbish about them. I knew all these, but the truth of the matter is that I never really believed he could do the same to me. After all I’ve done? As I’m writing this, I still can’t believe it. Only God knows what he would be saying about me to his other victims. I guess you never really know how others feel until you step into their shoes.
Once Beaten, Twice Shy
As lengthy as this is, it’s still just a fraction and the best summary I can give. The truth is, the Bible is really accurate, if only we would not be sentimental about things. I have had indirect experiences with many other bloody and deadly ingrates, but this was as direct as a head shot. One major pattern I have noticed is that they are always under the pretence of Christianity and family, they are always from the church and they always use the name of God. These people are devils, they play on your liberty and cage you in depression, finally destroying your love or any hint of compassion in you. They play with your mind using the name of God. They play with your emotions using the name of Jesus. They play with your liberty using the name of blood. In the end, the aim is to get you to stop loving and doing good, which is the whole essence of Christianity.
The joy of giving is in the significance of your deeds in the receiver’s life. It’s all about touching lives and meeting somebody at the very point of his/her genuine need. Anything apart from this is automatically a waste of precious time and resources. They are not your brothers and sisters in Christ, they are devils and antichrists. He got me, I have to give it to him, but not because I didn’t see it coming, but because I let my guard down, I didn’t want to hurt anybody. Now, it’s hurt or be hurt; but you wouldn’t be hurting anyone, you’ll just be putting the devil to shame. This doesn’t stop me from doing good, it only puts others after him in trouble. I have to stop now, before I start writing out of anger and snap.
Cheers and God bless you infinitely!!!