My God is not a Refugee

A lady, I’m sorry, a woman, abeg (abeg means ‘please’ in an antagonistic sense), whatever! In fact, I have spoilt that whole compound sentence now, ok, let me start again. A lady=woman was reciting Psalm 91 during a quiz session, while we were waiting to be baptized many years back. She was already biting her tongue from verse 1, yet, the orator just let it slide; but when she got to verse 2, she summoned up boldness and took it personal. She said, “I will say of the Lord, He is my ‘refugee’…” “Ehhhhhhhhh!!! You say what? Please come again” went the orator. She too came again, “I will say of the Lord, He is my refugee…” “Wait wait wait wait wait, madam please…my God is not a refugee, you are the one that is the refugee” Can you imagine? Somebody that is quoting Psalm 91, after just saying “He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty” You that was seeking refuge in His secret place, when you got to verse 2, ‘He is my refuge’ turned to ‘He is my refugee’. The funniest part was that it was a time when all these Lebanese refugees were beginning to outnumber us in Lagos, Nigeria. Well, was she really calling God a refugee? No, I don’t think so, English was her problem.


House Fellowship Leader

I used to attend a house fellowship in one beautiful duplex many years back. I really enjoyed it because every once a week, I got to relax in a mansion, with paintings on the wall, and an air conditioner. The only annoying thing was the leader. Her English was really bad. She should have just gotten an English interpreter and flowed in her Yoruba language. I don’t remember gaining anything from her because I was too conscious of her grammatical errors. The worst part was that I was still in high (secondary) school and my specialty was in detecting grammatical blunders. I only found myself laughing at those blunders each time I went for house fellowship. It got to a point that I stopped going because I didn’t want God to punish me. Well, is it that she just didn’t want anybody to be blessed by her teaching? Or was she trying to hoard the word of God? No! English was her problem.


Jokes Apart

2 Timothy 2:15 says,

“Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.”

Whether you like it or not, in this day and age, you have to be well equipped to deliver to the people. In fact, some Nigerian pastors go to the extent of speaking phuneh! (British or American accents) just to get the attention and enthusiasm of the congregation. I am actually considering changing to an American accent, except that I don’t have any congregation to speak it to, I can only write it for now. Some pastors even resort to speaking in complex and ambiguous linguistic terms to the point that the congregation must come with dictionaries to catch up, now that’s just hilarious.

Cheers and God bless you infinitely!!!

© 2013 Godsplan Uzoaga.

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