I recently went for a friend’s wedding and I experienced one of the most thrilling and fulfilling moments of my life. Having found myself on a table filled with alleged wedding crashers and suspected village girls in bend-down-select city apparels and Joker looking makeup, seeking innocent husband materials (like yours truly) to devour, I thought it was all over for me. But in that moment, as my life flashed before my eyes, came light as plates of food with different sizes of meat were served.

Chicken Sized Meat

Chicken sized meatSo waiter brings two plates of food to the table. One with a mighty piece of meat, so big, it looked like chicken, and the other one, just average.

He wanted to give me the one with the mighty piece of meat, but rather gave it to the guy sitting to my left, who apparently was a wedding crasher. He left immediately he finished the one pack of juice that was meant for the whole table.

Next thing I know, he had finished eating and instead of an empty plate was a mighty chunk of bone. That piece of meat was about 80% bone, and just 20% meat.

Village Headmistress and the Meat Saga

Joker looking village girl - meatWhile I was pondering on the meat to bone ratio phenomenon, the lady to my right was busy busting my head (dazzling me).

Have you ever seen a village girl trying to comport herself at a white wedding? That was this girl. Here are a few highlights of her strong qualifications:

  • Finished all the wrapped pieces of cake at our table;
  • Tried to hijack my drink;
  • Ordered other rounds of food denying she had been served, but I won’t judge her for the beer;
  • Tried to take a selfie using style to capture me in it so that she could change her Facebook status to “In a relationship” and post my picture as evidence;
  • To cap it all, she stood up and started dancing right beside me. Then she moved closer to my face and started to forcefully shake bumbum that she didn’t even have. There was nothing to shake. Now I see D’banj’s agony.

After her display, she settled down for a while. However, I noticed she was oddly quiet, but I started hearing some rat noises. I turned to my right, lo and behold, there was a silent fight. A serious covert battle between her and the remaining chunk of bone from her piece of meat. Apparently, it turns out her piece of meat was about 90% bone, and just 10% meat.

Dry Bones and Meat Shall Rise Again

Dry bones meatI pondered further on this meat phenomenon as I wondered what my fate would be. I don’t rush my food and I also hadn’t touched my own piece of meat. In case you don’t know, in Nigeria, we leave the piece(s) of meat for last.

As I prepared to approach my piece of meat, then came the waiter to pick up empty plates. Her plate was already cleaned up, but I didn’t even notice that she was still battling that bone. So the waiter, seeing her plate empty, approached her, and the following conversation ensued:

Waiter – Sorry Ma, are you through?
Village Headmistress – What kind of question is that? With this kind of meat that you gave me? Fork is not working, my hand is not working.

And then she continued her battle with the bone.


Not by Size of Meat but by the Spirit

Big MeatAs I finally approached my piece of meat, I was nervous. The other two big pieces turned out to be bone. What was to make my own average piece of meat not turn out the same? So I slowly and fearfully poked my piece of meat expecting to hit concrete. But lo and behold, my fork pierced right through. It was 100% meat, 0% bone. Somebody shout hallelujah!!!


Proverbs 14:12 says:

“There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death.”

I wanted the mighty piece of meat, but the waiter gave me the smaller one. I was unhappy, I felt sad, I felt unfortunate. Then after noticing that it was a wedding crasher and village girl that got the bigger ones, I felt angry. But at the end, all that glittered was not gold. If they knew that all that was hidden beneath the surface was just bone, they would have gone for mine.


Ecclesiastes 9:11 then says:

“I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all.”

In conclusion, Jesus in Matthew 6:31-33 said,

“Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed? (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.”

I guess the scriptures have said it all. When it seems things are not going your way, God is working for your good. When men are cast down, say there is a lifting up (Job 22:29). Trust in the Lord (Proverbs 3:5-6), give thanks and just rest in the knowledge that all things are working together for your good (Romans 8:28).

Happy New Month!

See you at the top!

Cheers and God bless you infinitely!!!

Godsplan Uzoaga.

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