I received a distress call from my mum on a Sunday evening, she was stranded at a particular location, which was not safe and there was no means of transport available at the time, so I just put on a pair of shorts, a top and immediately entered and the car and sped off. While still in my neighbourhood, on getting to a round-about, I had quickly calculated that there was a speed bump on the intersecting lane and so, the cars coming from there would have to slow down, so I sped round the turning. Now there was this car that didn’t slow down at all after the bump and was coming fast, but I had already made the turning; all the car had to do was slow down a little, but they didn’t, they wanted to prove themselves. Being under pressure, all that was on my mind was going to get my mum, as I made the turning, they finally realised that I meant business and stopped, it was a close one, but that wasn’t my concern at all.

BrokennessMoving further, there was a traffic jam which made me very uncomfortable, but I tried to cool down. The next thing I knew was a car sped past me, came to my front and blocked the road. Three young guys rushed down, rushed to my vehicle, opened my door and started rough handling me, calling me names, insulting me, jacking my neck, hitting me, threatening me, etc. They were the ones who I had sped past earlier on. What just baffled me was that I just sat down there, and I made no effort or move of any kind to retaliate or fight back, the second a thought came in, it was erased immediately, I didn’t raise my voice, I even found myself so calm and even gently trying to explain. In fact, from outside, it must have looked like a cult attack or something, because nobody saw me, I was just sitting in the car, while these three vicious young men attacked me. But wait a minute, that wasn’t me, what was going on? The me that I used to know would have fought to the death, would have raised his voice, and wouldn’t stop until they were all destroyed. Who then had I become?


That was so weird, because I remember a few years back, I always had dreams of me being a fugitive, I had killed somebody, or I was set up; I would wake up and prayerfully nullify such events, but in reality, I actually had this anger inside of me that always imagined death, so the dreams were not far fetched. If anybody went against me, the only possible outcome I imagined was the death of that person, or the death of both of us. I really was a walking time bomb. So I had to put myself in check knowing that one the devil’s plans was to use me to destroy myself, seeing I was an epitome of greatness. The truth is that I still had that anger inside and all I always did was pray to God not to find myself in such situations because I knew deep inside that I was going to go off. For real, I always avoided and ran away from such because the only future I saw was dark.

During my personal communion with God, He brought me to the knowledge of truth and His love was magnified in my life. Anybody that knows me, knows that I stand for love, judgment and justice, and as far as I am concerned, anything outside these is a complete waste of time; I don’t want to know how anointed you are or how big your church is, the gifts of God are without repentance (Romans 11:29). God is very clear on that. So I have been walking in love, judgment and justice for a while now, and everyday I would always ask God to brake me, melt me, remould me, fill me and use till all my actions become His, and till I am Him and He is me. Of course, the anger is long gone, perfect love casts out fear and whom the son has set free is free indeed, but I recently never had the opportunity to confirm how broken I was. I would also avoid arguments, conflicts or run away. After these guys did that to me, and I did nothing, I kept asking myself what had happened to me, how come? The Holy Spirit then ministered to me that brokenness had set in. The most interesting part is that after they left, I judged the whole matter and then I brought God in to judge, they had touched the Lord’s anointed and would face the wrath of God. That very same night, God told me to forgive them, I didn’t agree. The next day, He told me again, and I had to forgive them, this I did deep inside of me.

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A lot of people claim to be broken, they claim to be children of God, they claim to be righteous, but I tell you, when real situations arise, you would know who they really are. Everyday, I keep trying to be better, I keep judging my actions and my thoughts. I am not perfect, who am I to claim perfection? God sees the yearning of the heart, He knows those that are His, He knows those who worship Him in spirit and in truth, He knows those who love Him with all their heart, with all their might and with all their soul. When you love God, no matter what, you will always stand by His word and you will not even know when brokenness sets in. I did speed, I shouldn’t have sped past that turning, but I would have even flown if possible to go get my mum in that situation. No matter what, right now, I still don’t have the ability to hold grudges; all I can think of is nothing against them. God is looking for true worshipers, He is looking for those who truly love Him, who truly love His people. The question is: Can He point you out as one?


Today, let us judge ourselves, judge our thoughts, judge our actions, and surrender all to God, let go and forgive. Let us learn to act in judgment and justice, but how can you achieve this if you don’t have love? Just note this down that without love, you are going nowhere. You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, body and soul, you must love His people, you must act in judgment and justice. A lot of people just practice religion and play church, but by their fruits, you shall know them. When love is magnified in you, then brokenness will set in. If I find myself in that same situation a thousand times, I would still speed to go get my mum, and if a million people attack and harass me unjustly, I would still do nothing and in the end, I would still follow the leading of the Spirit and act in love, judgment and justice.

Cheers and God bless you infinitey!!!

© 2013 Godsplan Uzoaga.

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